Attorney Expectation: Please state your name and occupation for the record.
Me: Valer…..ahem……Valerie McClintick. Wife, Mother, Homeschooler.
Attorney Expectation: “Mrs McClintick, would it be true to say that you plan on starting school in no less then 3 days?”
Me: “Why….well, I guess…we’ll I’m certain….”
Attorney Expectation: “Please refrain from explanation and answer YES or NO”
Me: (ummmmmmm?) Yes.
Attorney Expectation: “Okay, so you admit that you are beginning the 2010 school year in no less then 72 hours is that correct?”
Me: (What? 72 hours? Is that all I have left?) I suppose so yes?
Attorney Expectation: “In fact, you are so committed to this plan that you’ve actually marked it on the calendar…..surrounded by cute fluffy hearts no less.
Me: Why yes, that is my handwriting.
Attorney Expectation: “Your Honor……….Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, you’ve heard it with your own ears. Now I will present to you photographic evidence that speaks for itself:
Exhibit A: Wayward Games
Attorney Expectation: It’s clear from this photo that she’s got her playtime games mixed with her school games.
And Moving On….
Exhibit B: Bookshelf Blowout!
Attorney Expectation: We can see in this photo that there are bins for storing different books, and perhaps even ways to organize the different materials by theme…..but a closer look reveals that the entire closet is in disarray….The Berenstein Bears are mixed with the Board Books, and the Early Readers are thrown in with the Character Builders…..it’s total chaos as I see it…..
And there’s more…
Exhibit C: Fireplace Fill-up
Attorney Expectation: Just what exactly do you expect to do with all this overflow Mrs McClintick? Just store it up in boxes and put it away on a high shelf somewhere? What are you going to do if you need a book from it? It will take you forever to get to it…..
And finally I present the most disheartening photographic evidence yet ……….
Exhibit D: Crafty Classroom Meltdown
Attorney Expectation: Oh……..tsk….tsk…tsk…..Mrs McClintick, I would have expected more from you. Do you not call your school “The Crafty Classroom?” How have you let things get so bad……
I’d say The destruction speaks for itself….
Mrs McClintick, please explain the state of your house to the Jury…….address the impending date on the calendar…..and HOW you will be able to pull off your regular household and Motherly duties alongside these new challenges?
Me: “Your Honor, in light of this new evidence the defendent would like to request a short recess to examine and evaluate how to proceed.”
TO BE CONTINUED……………….