I’m joining up with a blog meme hosted by Granola Mom 4 God,
and giving you a little sneak peek into my “quiet time” routine.
(or lack there of)
And before I get started revealing my places of refuge,
I want you to know right of that bat, that I Struggle.
S-T-R-U-G-G-L-E
(If I had a extra-bold font I’d use it.)
Sometimes It is sooo easy for me to turn to God,
put him at the forefront in my daily life,
and become enraptured in our relationship.
It’s all hearts and bubbles and pink unicorns.
But then other days it is like grasping at air to find Him.
I struggle to focus, to connect.
To remember to search for that
familiar movement in my soul.
Some days I’m waiting till midnight for
“Some Peace and Quiet”
Some days it NEVER COMES!
(that is in double bold font too.)
Somedays I secretly hope that NO ONE saw
how I totally flipped out over spilled milk.
Actual spilled milk. In the carpet of course,
But that’s no excuse!
And in case you didn’t already know:
I wasn’t brought up a Christian.
Of course I had heard of them.
Even claimed to be one a few times on the census
(In my defense, I was pretty sure some distant relative who had immigrated here on a ship was a puritan or something, and of course that is essentialy Christian, and so I am Christian-by-Default because it’s somehow passed down in my bones or my DNA or something like that.)
So you can imagine that I was never
taught to actually seek out peaceful moments.
(Ones that didn’t involve self-indulgences
like chocolate or shopping trips)
And Actually finding quite time with God
has been something I’ve really had to teach myself.
And re-teach myself.
And… continue-to-teach myself.
But I will say that over the years
I’ve started to realize that
I can either “proactively” seek Him out,
or “retroactively” seek Him out.
And you know….like all things in life, it’s
much better to show up prepared.
So here is a peek at my Proactive Tools:
(which also coincidentally, become my Retroactive Tools on days in which I completely go off the deep end.)
Ahem.
My Bible.
My actual bible is a big clunky student bible that I was given when my Mom passed away.
I wake people up with that bible.
It’s hardback, the pages crinkle, and it’s falling apart.
So it’s on the shelf for now, temporarily replaced with
this amazing bible AP called “YouVersion”
This is where I can be found every night,
snuggled in bed reading the bible on my iPhone.
Wanna know what I’m reading?
Verses on Anger.
Yup. Anger.
(See, told ya I was REAL)
Anger has been a tough one for me,
and everytime I think I have it mastered God
shows me another glimpse of my true “heart condition”
and I flee back to Him for more guidance.
Other times I can be found reading from this handful of books:
Each of these have earned a place by my bedside, because every time I move them to my bookshelf I quickly find myself creeping out of bed in search for them. And Really. I’m done with cold feet, and bonking my head into the door. They’re just gonna stay here for a while.
And when I really have a lot of time
(Like more then ten minutes)
I LOVE to get out my journal and study a verse in depth.
If I find myself especially moved by a verse,
I add it to my journal
Not only to remember it,
but to record the promises within it.
I enjoy going back through the pages of my journal,
it’s like a snapshot or scrapbook of my relationship with God,
a reminder of the trials he’s already brought me through,
with the promises to carry me through more.
Some days can be difficult to find even 10 minutes to myself.
Amidst those afternoons, I try to remember that even though
my body is busy on the outside,
I can still become quiet and still on the inside.
I look for the quick opportunities to connect with God,
meditating on the few scriptures I have memorized,
and simply recognizing his presence among the chaos.
But, what about You?
How to you find…set aside…sneak in…
Your quiet time with God?
There are many other REAL posts linked up to this blog meme,
I recommend checking them out!
OH, how we all S-T-R-U-G-G-L-E! (extra bold font here too) That struggle shows me just how much I really need my Savior, how far am from who He knows I am. The wonderful peace that fills me when I return to Him makes each struggle all the more worth it. It draws me so much nearer to Him than I would have known without that struggle. It gives me just the tiniest glimpse of how mighty, forgiving, loving… God is. I have been aweful at finding quiet time as of late. I have a wonderful, amazing goal to acomplish in His word this year- a goal I can not meet without Him…
I LOVE the way you journal. Its so personal and creative. Thanks for sharing that with me. I am not artistic in that way, think stick figures might be identifiable if I label them. I think I might encourage my artsy child to journal that way though. Blessings!
Thank you for sharing. I love YouVersion. If I wake up during the night and can’t get back to sleep I don’t have to turn the lights on I can just open it up and read. Plus, it has an audio button so I can just sit back and listen if I’m not up for reading (also, great when you’re nursing, washing dishes, cooking, etc.)
Love your journal!
LOVE that journal! I tend to work through books of the Bible. Right now I’m working through Exodus and those stories!
We had this discussion at one of our mom’s meetings. How does a busy mom with little ones even make time for quiet time? Struggle??? You betcha! Impossible?? Most of the time, yes. You are so encouraging! Thank you for the reminder that it can be done. I love your journal pages. What a great way to remember what He has brought you through and taught you.
And yes…I totally relate to the anger issue. I read a great ‘real’ devotion book about it and still go back to it from time to time. “She’s Gonna Blow: Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger”, by Julie Ann Barnhill. I’m so thankful for mom’s who are real, like you!
Wow! I sure needed to read your words today. Yesterday I flipped out beyond flipping out I think and was just devestated that I had allowed myself to act the way I did. I humbled myself before my God and before my 4 year old, praying forgiveness. And as they were both filled with unbelievable grace….I struggle to find grace for myself – to forgive myself. Sometimes being a mom is so unbelievably hard…..
Thanks…
I S-T-R-U-G-G-L-E as well…but mostly because my “very Christian” friend informed me one day that she didn’t think I was “Christian enough” and ever since I have questioned my own faith. Mainly because when she shares thoughts, I agree and understand her place, but I don’t use the same ‘verbage’ (faith based vocabular I hear all to often as if there are no other “right ways” to say what you believe) I feel I do my best, but maybe she knows something I don’t…that thought plagues me. So to know other’s have off days is nice!!! Thanks! :)
PS I find throwing the clock away (not really, but mentally tossing it…well at least set a day aside a week with ZERO PLANS) helps anger. I notice I get most frustrated and angry when I have a “time frame” in mind and we aren’t making it…I get angry when rushed. Homeschooling allows for flexiblity, so my clocks no longer rule our world and it seems to have brought more calm loving peace to the house.
Girl — you have so blessed me. We are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo alike. Was that too many o’s? But i knew you would appreciate them. Thank you for being real and transparent. I loved how real you were . . . because I wanted God to use this for others. Thank you thank you thank you!!!! You would so like Kay Arthur studies judging by the way you journal (which is what my journals used to look like before i took up blogging!) Anger . . .there with you. Umm . . . let’s not talk about what I did this morning. Sigh. When I get angry, I’ll pray for you. So um . . . expect yourself to be changing because you will be prayed for a lot!!!
oh, WOW!!! I loved this post and your journal is such an inspiration. You gave me a great idea to use it with my children for them to learn Bible verses. My children learn most of their verses just by reading the Bible, listening to Jonathan Park and Seeds of Worship. Since they are very artistic the journal would be great for them to record the verses they are currently learning.
thanks again, your websites are sooooo helpful. :) God bless,
Tereza
Ps I have been reading on anger since my first child was born (8 years ago) and one book that really helped me was “Good and Angry”. From all the books I read, this one was the most useful, packed full of information, Bible verses, and practical solutions. I recommend it 100%