Dear First Time Mother Whose Baby is Sleeping Through the Night,
I regret to inform you that we can no longer speak to one another.
It’s nothing you’ve done….
No one is really at fault here.
It’s really just a matter of avoiding temptation
(Something that is addressed quite seriously in the bible in fact.)
Because, you see if we DO chat
I might be tempted to ask you,
“How are you enjoying your new baby?”
And then you,
You just might be tempted to tell me that,
“Things are really great!”
Then I,
I just might be tempted to ask,
“How Great?”
Then you just wouldn’t be able to contain your joy!
“He’s sleeping through the night,” you’ll say.
“He barely even cries…” you’ll add.
“And he rarely burps or pukes…” you’ll divulge.
Then just when I’m reeling in self pity….
You won’t be able to contain your temptation, when you inform me that
“In Fact, his poop doesn’t even smell!
Nope doesn’t even stink one little bit.
Just little flowery puffs is all that comes from the little angel!!!.”
So to prevent all that temptation
(that no one is at fault for)
Lets just agree not to speak to one another for a while.
In fact, it’s probably best that we no longer sit near each other either.
Lest I be tempted to hand you MY baby…..
Loaded with a full belly and a diaper One size too small.
On accident of course.
Oooooooooh, I hear you. I remember my eye sockets aching I was so tired. And then when he did sleep, it was all during church when I couldn’t and the older ladies would ask, “doesn’t that baby ever cry?” and it made you want to… well, in Christian love, of course. I think I totally lost my sense of humor too. So, hey, you’ve still got that! You’re doing OK!
This too shall pass. No pun, no pun…
Oh, I so hear you! Sleep…that is entirely a myth over here too. In about two years, I can catch up on that.
I love this! I felt this way with all three of my kiddos. Sleep? Are you kidding me, I was happy if they werent crying :)
I found your blog for the first time today through a serendiptious email link. And I LOVE this post! I am the mom you are talking about right now. Except, hear this!, the only reason my newest newborn is like that is because God graced me (after much, much praying) on baby number six when toddler (21 months) number five is still waking up 2-4 times a night! I am still an exhausted, defeated new mom only it isn’t my newest that’s the problem! And yes, I’ve had the other type too…much too often…like with babies number one, two and three! LOL